Batesville Herald Tribune, Batesville, Indiana

Local News

October 25, 2013

Domestic violence can be psychological

(Continued)

She reflected on how she had changed: “Before marriage I was fairly confident, very involved in life, had close friends and hobbies I enjoyed. I had had my own business for several years and had supported myself, living with roommates. By the time my sister discovered my secret, I was barely a shell of the woman I once was. I was withdrawn, had no friends, didn’t want to leave the house unless I absolutely had to. Anxiety became a part of my identity. I lived in fear of my husband coming home from work.”

The desire to leave the marriage became strong when their youngest child was born. “I looked over at my husband and down at my beautiful baby boy and realized that I couldn’t allow this child to experience what his siblings had. I couldn’t allow him to be bruised and emotionally beaten down ....”

“I begged for counseling and he refused. I begged for a separation. He finally agreed to counseling. It all backfired. Everything that came out in counseling he twisted and distorted and used against me. Counseling became more fuel for the fire. The hopelessness deepened and my desire to live lessened.”

After almost a decade of marriage, her sister gave the mother Safe Passage’s phone number, but she was hesitant. “He never hit me. I didn’t fit the profile. But I couldn’t deny the fact that I lived in fear each day .... Finally I reasoned that it couldn’t hurt to at least get some personal counseling.”

The woman wrote, “Within a week of my first counseling session, I knew that I had to get me and my children out.” She explained, “I had finally reached the point that the pain and fear of staying was greater than the terror and pain of leaving.”

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